14 Celebrities I Hope We Never, Ever Have To See Naked

From Paris Hilton to Britney Spears, Vanessa Hudgens to Pamela Anderson. Fake or not, those celebrity nude photos seem to be everywhere. Our sex-obsessed society can’t seem to get enough.

But there’s a breaking point. A time when someone has to stand up and say, ENOUGH! Most of the following haven’t crossed the line, yet. But who knows what someone might do for a little publicity? For the sake of all involved, please, those of you listed below, keep your clothes on!

Dr. Phil McGraw - Dr. Phil’s a levelheaded, affable guy. I don’t think we have any worries here. But just in case, if you have any private photos around, Phil, keep them private. Please.

Rosie O’Donnell - In the 1994 Flintstone’s Movie, Rosie donned a skimpy Betty Rubble dress. Shortly after the movie was released, there was a poll published somewhere in which men said they would prefer to date Betty Rubble over Wilma Flintstone. Rosie as Betty? Passable. But no more, Rosie, please. (Or in this case, no LESS.)

Donald Trump - Trump looks good in an expensive suit. He’s rarely seen in public wearing anything less. And let’s keep it that way.

Homer and Marge Simpson - We’ve seen Homer in his underwear plenty of times. But for the love of Matt Groening, let’s hope it ends there. And Marge, please stay as sweet, and as clothed, as you already are.

Britney Spears (pregnant or not.) - Welcome to the wonderful world of getting older, Britney. It’s time to take a hint from some of your more distinguished colleagues and start covering up now, before it’s REALLY too late.

Senator Ted Kennedy - Ted has an allegedly wild past. Who knows who might have pulled out a camera at one of those out-of-control all-nighters? Let’s hope the evidence is long gone.

Martha Stewart - Saturday Night Live did a skit many years ago featuring a topless Martha Stewart. The idea was very funny. The best comedy has a touch of truth. Trust us, Martha. Stick to pots, pans and gardens.

Bill and Hillary Clinton: Those allegedly candid 1998 “romantic dancing on the beach swimsuit photos” were more than enough for the world. Let’s hope nothing else ever leaks.

And while we’re at it, ANY Former First Lady - (See photo with this article. Enough said.)

Hugh Hefner - As long as he keeps that robe on, Hugh’s not looking too bad for his age. But if there’s any choice between looking at him or his current girlfriends, well...

Dog the Bounty Hunter - Dog’s led a hard life. It’s shows in his face. And that’s all we need to see, thank you.

Madonna - The former boy toy is showing less and less these days. And we’re liking it more and more.

Additional nominations, anyone?

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